Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Consulting and other matters

Many of you have wondered why I haven't blogged in a while. Some of you haven't. The exact numbers being 2 and 2 million respectively. All I can say in response is "The laws of physics are the same for all observers in uniform motion relative to one another." Yes, I know it doesn't make sense to you. It did to good old Albert. He won a prize too - from the guy who invented dynamite.

Some of you wanted more info on Poli and his exploits. I am glad to tell you that Poli has tied the knot. Many of us have been tying it every day to work. Yes, the tie knot. And no, thats not the knot he tied, though he is known to tie tie knots that can leave most of us gasping. No, not in awe. Mostly due to breathlessness. The knot good old Poli tied is the wedding knot. Promptly, Mrs and Mr. Poli headed off to Europe for a well-deserved honeymoon. In true Greek God tradition, he first took her to Athens. As he left, there were riots in Greece. Subsequently our intrepid couple headed to Venice. As they left, the city erupted in tears and there has been massive flooding. They have now landed in good old Bangalore. There has already been a cab strike after they returned.

None of you wanted more info on me or my exploits. There is this famous saying - "You never ask the right questions even though the right answers are staring you in the face and laughing at your pimples" - attributed to a slightly drunk but mostly in control Avionic Spanker. Legend has it that he said this in Dec 2008. My point is: Thanks for not asking. Here are the answers anyway. I am in Bangalore too. And no, I was here much before the cab strikes began.

Continuing the glorious tradition of providing consulting services to random clients and following an unplanned career, I am now at the mercy of a client who "aims to reach the moon in the long term, but does not know how to get to Mysore from Bangalore in the near term". That last quote, which I would be proud to take ownership of, was by a senior executive of the client firm during a project review meeting. I wanted to get up and tell him he couldn't get from Bangalore to Mysore because these cities don't exist any more. Whoever heard of moving across imaginary cities! I could give him the rail route to get from Bengalooru to Mysuru if needed. As I was pondering when I should enlighten him, my survival gene which is mostly dormant, kicked in - and in all the wrong places, to ensure that I didn't actually tell him what I felt. So he was not able to get a sample of my brilliant insight. In summary, I still have the job. And the assignment. And yes, I don't think the said senior executive reads my blogs. On the other hand, if you are this executive, can I sell you a railway timetable?


Smita said...

I can not believe my eyes!!!! In fact my eyes & brain had a moment of diskonnekt...I mean how come this blog is alive n may be kicking a well :D

1st thing 1st please pass on my wishes to Mr. n Mrs. Poli alongwith a request that it would be better if they stay away from Mumbai for sometime we already have had enough problems here :)

Looks like we have railway agent amongst us :D BTW I am in dire need of a Railway Time Table, when r u sending it across???

Anonymous said...

Fuck! Welcome back, macha! I thought you'd gone over to the dark side!
Pass on my congrats to Mr and Mrs Poli... I might contact you about that timetable, though! :)

Quirky Indian said...

Good to see you back.


Quirky Indian

Avionic Spanker said...

Smita - Undead and kicking, as ever .. I think Mrs & Mr. Poli plan to be in Blr for a while .. as for the railway timetable, I'll give u one from Bombay to Calcutta?

mirrorcracked - Thanks, macha! So you are that executive! :)

QI - Glad to be back

mystiquedew said...

the greek god is married?

damn! all the good ones are always taken..

Shefaly said...

AvionicSpanker: It is better to be away and write occasional good pieces (and keep one's job) than write everyday and write rubbish.

MystiqueDew: The (not so)great Robbie Williams put it thus:
All the best women are married,
All the handsome men are gay,
You feel deprived...

The said song is called, audaciously enough, Supreme and has a partial line 'A love supreme' although the tune is not a patch on Miles's work.

vimmuuu said...

Welcome back buddy. The moment I had you blogrolled, you absconded !LOL ! Please pass on my wishes to Mr.and Mrs. Poli.

Avionic Spanker said...

mystiquedew - Not all ;)

Shefaly - I like the blogging without obligation idea - again something neat I picked up at your blog .. but then no one ever asks me why I haven't blogged, so thats ok :)

vimmuuu - Glad to be back .. ur blogrolling was an interesting coincidence :)

Mama - Mia said...

woohoo! tad late here since i was vacaying past 10 days or so! and i had got tired of seeing someone's watching you everytime i visited!

conratulation to Mr aani Mrs. Poli!! many years of happiness is wished for them!

and since you are in Bengaluru, how about we catch up n all that jazz? i promise i wont fix any blind dates for you! you can just meet Hubby and Cubby.

leme know!



Oxy said...

Der Lagi Aane Me Tumko... Shukar Hai Fir Bhi Aaye Toh... .Eekkss that was cheesy.,. do not blame me... that's deed of Emotional Atyaachaar in recent past..

So POLIs are here and so are you and now so am I.. Welcome back.

Happy New Year

Voracious Blog Reader said...


Please read my comments for your post "Socha Nahi to Socho Abhi .. Hmm, okay."

Thank you.

Anonymous said...

congrats for getting hitched, btw. Can't hide that from all of us for long, you know.

Avionic Spanker said...

Mama-mia - Sure thing, look fwd to meeting cubby

Oxy - You really attached to that song, eh? Its impressive though. New year wishes to you too!

Voracious Blog Reader - Done

Anon - Am glad the college-wide random information generation network is as strong as ever.

Oxy said...

Hey U Avionic,

That's All

AV said...

LOLest! thank God u didnt scream in the middle of the meeting!! Anyways, gud one! n u better hold on to ur job tight as tats way more important in the present scenario than dumb clients who dont know the railway schedule!!

Anonymous said...

Dude! Where art thou?? Come back soon!! :D

PS: Now the number has grown to 3 and 3 million respectively! ;)

Smita said...

Knock knock, anybody home? Where is the very much alive and kicking blogger?