Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Consulting and other matters

Many of you have wondered why I haven't blogged in a while. Some of you haven't. The exact numbers being 2 and 2 million respectively. All I can say in response is "The laws of physics are the same for all observers in uniform motion relative to one another." Yes, I know it doesn't make sense to you. It did to good old Albert. He won a prize too - from the guy who invented dynamite.

Some of you wanted more info on Poli and his exploits. I am glad to tell you that Poli has tied the knot. Many of us have been tying it every day to work. Yes, the tie knot. And no, thats not the knot he tied, though he is known to tie tie knots that can leave most of us gasping. No, not in awe. Mostly due to breathlessness. The knot good old Poli tied is the wedding knot. Promptly, Mrs and Mr. Poli headed off to Europe for a well-deserved honeymoon. In true Greek God tradition, he first took her to Athens. As he left, there were riots in Greece. Subsequently our intrepid couple headed to Venice. As they left, the city erupted in tears and there has been massive flooding. They have now landed in good old Bangalore. There has already been a cab strike after they returned.

None of you wanted more info on me or my exploits. There is this famous saying - "You never ask the right questions even though the right answers are staring you in the face and laughing at your pimples" - attributed to a slightly drunk but mostly in control Avionic Spanker. Legend has it that he said this in Dec 2008. My point is: Thanks for not asking. Here are the answers anyway. I am in Bangalore too. And no, I was here much before the cab strikes began.

Continuing the glorious tradition of providing consulting services to random clients and following an unplanned career, I am now at the mercy of a client who "aims to reach the moon in the long term, but does not know how to get to Mysore from Bangalore in the near term". That last quote, which I would be proud to take ownership of, was by a senior executive of the client firm during a project review meeting. I wanted to get up and tell him he couldn't get from Bangalore to Mysore because these cities don't exist any more. Whoever heard of moving across imaginary cities! I could give him the rail route to get from Bengalooru to Mysuru if needed. As I was pondering when I should enlighten him, my survival gene which is mostly dormant, kicked in - and in all the wrong places, to ensure that I didn't actually tell him what I felt. So he was not able to get a sample of my brilliant insight. In summary, I still have the job. And the assignment. And yes, I don't think the said senior executive reads my blogs. On the other hand, if you are this executive, can I sell you a railway timetable?